My name is Kim, and I'm a Mac

Okay, I was a PC for a long time. After all, them freaking Macs are expensive.

However, after I got continually pissed off by Uncle Bill and Company for the millionth time, I bit the bullet and bought a Mac.

And the angels starting singing.

Now, this is not a promotion for a Mac, just my personal experience.

I won't go into the entire, now I have a Mac I can get my iPod and iPhone synced to the mothership in no time flat while my PC husband is ready to shoot out the lights.

I won't go into that.

I won't go into how my printer never worked well, until I got a Mac. And now the new(er) printer not only works wonderfully, I can print from my iPhone to it. Oh. Hell. Yes.

I won't go into that.

Here's the true selling point for Mac.  The more inebriated you get, the easier shit seems to work for you, I swear it's idiot/drunk proof.  Honestly. I have music playing form every computer in the house through our stereo using Airport Express and I didn't drop an F bomb once.

And I can upload pics and crap to this blog. How cool is that?

I would credit this to the proper person, but I don't know who did it.

I get by with a little help from my friends....

So, honestly, I have a great sewing set up.  Really, I do, when I used to have time, I used to make my own clothing (I'm 5'10", no torso and built like a Daddy-Long-Legs.....not really a category that the clothing companies go after).

So, over the years I have collected a nice assortment of tools of the trade.  The last one being the Sailrite machine a few years ago.

However, when push comes to shove. Nuthin' beats some home grown 'tewls' to help you get shit accomplished.

Thus, I present, stuff you just didn't know belonged in a sail loft.

Order from left to right:

1. Yep, that would be canned air like you use on computers. Blows those itty bitty bits of thread way the hell away.
2. Assorted seam rippers. the one on the left is the shit. And it also is great for impaling thumbs.
3. My bent tip tweezers from my serger. OMG. The best for grabbing shit in tight places.
4. Needle nose pliers. Don't knock it until you've tried it, once you start remove thread with those, you'll never go back
5. The most unusual of the bunch.  And if you are wondering, yes, it IS one of those funky wine opener doodads. I can't open a bottle of wine to save my ass with that (which results in me breaking out in a cold sweat and panicking...Must. Have. My. Precious...), and also, a plastic knife.  Both are brilliant for removing old seam stick or other sorts of two-way tape. I seriously mean it. Blunt, yet thin and strong enough to peel back tape and not hurt the sail. As for opening wine...fuck it.
6. Scissors (duh), always have big and small pair around. And this part is very important. DO NOT LET YOUR SPOUSE NEAR YOUR SEWING/SAIL LOFT SCISSORS!

Oh, and a vacuum. Works great on ripped seams also (after they land on the floor)

I interrupt this blog for an important weather announcement!

It's hot in the Midwest.  By hot, I mean, HOLY F-ING SHIT, DAMN IT'S FREAKING HOT.

That kinda hot.

Here's when you know it's hot.  When you look out your back window and see some local gang members just busting into your joint to use your pool...

Ever see a turkey pant?
Well ya did now!

And please do NOT ask about the DMZ fence you see there. It's a very long story involving mentally retarded canines.

Sail Loft underway--fingers optional

Well, it seems I have this great post.  But my Evil Sailing Sista Sabrina seemed to beat me to the punch, however she gave credit where credit was due so....

okay you ho!............................nestly nice sailing person, and I do mean that.

However as that ho!.............................nestly great gal has been enjoying her kickass boat, I've been quietly adding to the the Evil Sailing Sisters Sew Off rules. Oh, and the revenue of the local wine shop.

So (sew?) the history...Sabrina suggested having a 'challenge', I said hell, let's just go with the throwdown (okay, Bobby Flay, see top, foodie!)

Okay, then later, it becomes smackdown.  What?  WWF here I come!  The only smackdown that's happened is my various implements of sewing and me.  Whatever!

So, the original rules, (if you didn't check out the link already) are:

Okay, I think we need to establish some parameters.

You get:
Points for difficulty of project.
Points if the previous work done was done by an idiot. Unless, of course, the idiot was yourself.
Points if you go 15 minutes without dropping the F bomb and scaring your pets.

Demerits:
More than 5 F-bombs in a 15 minute period.
If you say more than 10 in an hour, you have to go to the penalty box.
Stabbing yourself with seam rippers/scissors/needles anything pokey....and then doing the same dumbass stunt again.
Bleeding on your project. (However, points for efficient blood removal....)

Handicaps:
Rum
Wine
Vodka
Beer

Now, to add to the rules.....

1. Points if you no longer cuss when you stab some pointy object into various parts of your body. As in, do not remove sail cover in your lap......  Ewwww! Don't start getting gross on me, it wasn't like that, it was my leg! 
2. Points if you are bleeding on your project as your husband walks in the door (he, after all, just had the sails cleaned) and managing to play cool and hide the brilliant red spot on the brilliant white sail. (In my defense, I didn't even know I was bleedin')
3. Bonus points if you convince your husband that you Really. Don't. Need. Help.  Seriously, the BandAid/Neosporin/Bandaging Tape supply is low enough.

Demerits:

1. Having a sudden thought while using the hot knife and just revelling in your thought for a moment.  Sunbrella will light on fire if you make it!
2. Losing your shit on the spouse when he says, "I hope you get that done soon, I don't want the sail to get dirty/dusty."  In his defense, see above, he did pay to have it cleaned.

Foot UV removed.
Old royal blue on the luff.
And my laundry, yeah, I know.....

New UV strip installed.

The Conch Republic/Jayhawk Nation now has a navy

And it's led by Admiral Compy Comp.

It didn't take long, and the boy was itching for a lake boat. Okay, to be honest, I was way before him, I missed my place to escape.  I have my Hobie Sailyak, but it's kinda low on privacy and wine storage.

So we looked. I found a boat like our old Catalina in Missouri. Husband sets out the dragnet to all reaches of the continental United States.

But, I thought we were going to try to keep this halfway affordable?  Never mind.

So, after several months we go full circle and we are back to the one of the first boats I was keeping a watch on.  This time patience paid off and they had dropped their price signficantly.  So in a few weeks (after we have some work and clean up done on it) we will have a lake boat.

And it's 100+ degrees in the Midwest.

And the lake as a blue green algae warning.

And for several days there was no wind.

And the boat has no a/c. (soon to change)

So meet HemiD's little sister. Serenity.  She's a Catalina 30 Tall rig (1991) and I know she'll be fun, we enjoyed our last Catalina--which I got to helm a couple weeks ago.

Seriously, what is UP with my spouse and batteries

The fun thing is, we are doing kinda a 'pimp my ride' with this boat and painting her hull blue and I'm redoing the canvas to tan.

The tide is high....and I can't get on my boat

I am a tall person, but even for me, high tide can be a bit of a challenge.

I've been wanting a boat step for awhile.  Hubby said, oh the ones at WestMarine are too expensive, I got this at Home Depot.

It was a little molded step stool.  Okay, I will clarify, if you haven't guessed it already, I'M NOT GRACEFUL.  So if you expect me to hang on to a shroud and a piling and then step 2 feet down to a rickety step?

It really isn't going to work out so well.

So on our last trip, we visited West Marine, and lo and behold they had these nifty boat steps, all sorts.

I told hubby, I want that.

Why? That's silly. I don't think it'll help any.

Suddenly realizing that I'm a grown woman who works herself, and by golly, if I want that boat step I'm gonna buy the G.Damn boat step.

So, we did.

Later in the day I hooked it up.  La la la, it's wonderful, step and on the boat, step and off the boat, tides and windage be damned.

Later, it gets the 'I've had a few beers and I need to get on the boat' test, and suddenly my spouse is fully in support of the boat step.

And everybody lived happily ever after.

Funny how it's the little things in life.....
This is actually low tide right now.
$24.99 at West Marine, guaranteed cheaper elsewhere on the internet.

However, I am instructed to install some padding on the step so it doesn't mar our beautiful baby.  I can do that.

..and a message for airport TSA

Ummmmm, what are you thinking deciding to do a random explosives test on people's hands......

......THE DAY AFTER JULY 4th.

WTFWTFWTF?

Hello!  4th of July, when we 'Mericans celebrate our independence by eating too much, drinking too much and blowing the stuffing out of everything.

At least 60% of the population (100% age 20 or younger) will be having some sort of explosive residue on them!

BTW--do not question the lovely TSA agents about explosives, or mention that it's post firecracker holiday or ask how can they tell the difference between regular old Black Cat residue versus underwear bomber grade residue.

I wasn't trying to start any shit with the TSA boy, I was genuinely curious.

They don't like inquisitiveness in the traveller.  Just get yer hands swabbed, grab your crap and go.

Getting older sneaks up on you

So the illustrious crew had a rough weekend for 4th July.  Compy Comp kinda threw out his back installing some more crap to make the Yanmar talk to Garmin.

However, I'm not supposed to mention it on the blog.  (Evil cackle)

But, not to be left behind, trying to get on the boat after pumping out, not one but both of my knees decided that they had other ideas about silly thing they're supposed to do...like bending, supporting weight, balancing and I about ended up in the drink.  Instead I unceremoniously wound up face planted on the deck of the boat.

Nice...DID YOU GET THAT BURN NOTICE FILM CREW!

However, we both pledged to start making sure we are taking care of ourselves a bit better.

Right after we go have sundowners and a nice meal......

Hemi D stars as reoccurring extra on the series Burn Notice

Yea, she's that cool.

Glad to know she's keeping herself busy.

But seriously, the USA Network series 'Burn Notice' is filmed in Miami, most specifically the old CocoGrove expo building that's right by the marina.

HemiD's owners accidently wandered through the production studios parking lost where all the location trailers and prop vehicles are stored.

And we got yelled at, nicely, but yeah, yelled at.

So, if you ever find yourself watching the show, and there's a scene with Pier 3 in it, wave to the girl.
She might even sign an autograph for you...