New place to love

Thanks to dive boat crew Greg for this tidbit.  They have everything from fresh fish of the day, Key West pinks (shrimp), fresh veggies, homemade salads, truffles.  Let me repeat, truffles (in a jar, but I'll forgive them).

And they are in an old gas station retro 50s look, even more awesome.

And I become a cliche.....

1. Margaritaville?  Check.

2. Flip flops? Check.

20 points and a shot glass to whoever guesses the next step.

3.

Blew out my flip flop.

However, to defend my Sketchers ToneUps, these things lasted me several years and several long walks.  It was them or my knees giving out.

The Great Bloody Battle of the Conch Republic

Okay, this was simultaneously the coolest and goofiest thing I've seen.

Part of the celebration was the final battle between the Conch Republic Navy and Air Force (oh, they have one, I'll get there) and the United States Coast Guard (...sector Key West.  Sorry too many VHF calls, its embedded in my brain)

So....basically what happens is all of the schooners and a few other approved boats go out and engage in battle with the USCGC Sawfish.  The Conch Republic Air Force then proceeds to toilet paper bomb the entire lot, and the USCG defends itself with water cannons.

Meanwhile you got a gazillion drunks cheering this on and about 20 more--"the Army"--with heavy mortars shooting blanks out into the harbor.

Finally, the USCG surrenders, and everybody proceeds to the Schooner Wharf for the surrender ceremony.

Now, imagine the VHF traffic on this fiasco.  "All concerned traffic--just avoid the Key West Harbor area for the next few hours--don't ask, just thank us. Coast Guard Key West Sector  out"

Did we bring our handheld?  No. Should we have?  Yeeeeeessssssss.

The 'Navy' preparing for battle

The Conch Republic Flagship of the Navy
Sea Wolf

America 2.0 pretty much saying thanks but no thanks.
You hooligans have your fun.
Then she lifted her skirts and ran off.

Preparing the cannons

The Conch Republic Navy Burgee
And yes, HemiD has one now thanks to my wonderful spouse
(and a small $$ donation)

USCGC Sawfish coming in for the attack!

Making a pass through and getting bombarded by cannons

Engaing in some trash talk with the Wolf 

Click to enlarge and see the 'Air Force' coming through to make bombing runs.

Water cannon battle. See some of the navy suffered friendly fire.

Capt taking some capshots with his Uzi.
And we got them by land...

Another strafing run.
(One plane accidentally lost the entire payload, garbage bag full of rolls and all)
...by air....

Heat of battle, we've got them surrounded!
...by sea!

Surrender!

We did later go to the surrender ceremony.  It was basically a young and gracious USCG captain giving the escapees from the Key West long term care facility their day of glory.

It was mic'd really badly so we couldn't hear a thing.

Conch Republic Independence Festival

First, the story.  I will paraphrase.

The Conch Republic was established by secession of the Florida Keys from the United States of America, on April 23rd, 1982 in response to a United States Border Patrol Blockade setup on highway U.S.1 at Florida City just to the north of the Florida Keys. This effectively isolated Keys Citizens from the U.S. mainland since the blockade was on the only land artery to and from the mainland. This roadblock portrayed Keys residents as non-U.S. citizens who had to prove their citizenship in order to drive onto the Florida mainland.

So, the Mayor and other citizens went to the Federal courthouse in Miami to seek an injunction to stop the roadblock, but did not succeed.  So, upon leaving the courthouse, the mayor announced that at noon the next day, the Florida Keys would secede from the Union.

So, at noon the next day in Mallory Square, the mayor announced the secession of the Keys from the Union, symbolically broke a loaf of Cuban bread over a 'navy officer'.  Then promptly surrendered to the Admiral at the Key West Naval Air Station and demanded $1 billion in foreign aid to help with war relief efforts after the long Federal siege.

The story has a few more crazy details, you can read them here.

But in true Keys tradition.  One action becomes a chance to become an annual party. And not just that, a week long celebration.

This year, we were finally in the right place at the right time and got to witness a few of the events.   We could have participated, but

1. Couldn't get my husband to dress in drag.
2. Didn't think we should participate in the boat race considering the weather conditions.
3. Didn't have a four poster bed handy.
4. Was fresh out of pirate gear.

Friday night there was the "Longest Parade in the World" going from the Atlantic side of the island to the Gulf side.  However, I'm not sure that pans out because by the time we saw the parade at the end of Duval (MM 0) there were very few parade people left. But I don't think most of them made it down Duval before diving into a bar.

Schooner Wharf Pirate Contingent

Man on a bike with an Ostrich
What more can you say?

Back in Key West

Originally the plan was to move the boat up to Miami so the spouse could stay on it when he's down for business.

Originally would be the operative word here.

Then while enjoying Happy Hour at the marina clubhouse--we sat there gazing over this...

And Tim says...we don't really have to move do we?
Kim says...well....no.
Tim says, maybe we should think about it.

Thinking about it lasted about 5 seconds and HemiD is staying in Key West a bit longer.  We are looking to maybe Marathon to pull her for the summer, but we'll see.  She does need some TLC-headsail UV fixing, and tuning of the rig.

Florida Keys by Air

We flew into Key West this time, thanks to some frequent flyer miles and a internet and/or user error that gave us more miles than we realized.

I was able to snap a couple a photos via iPad before the space waitress* and I had an Alec Baldwin moment.

*Thank you comedian Will Durst for that phrase.

Just add spices....

The spouse has been out of town the last week  well, pretty much month.  Very weird, because I am usually the travel person of the family.

However, I have got a lot done, we now have a garage that you can park in. whoa, dude, heavy.

The malamute and I weeded the yard, in which malamute proceeded to weed.....the yard.  Non-discriminatory my dog is.

However, in a fit of pure laziness and later justifying it to be a 'learning' experience, I forewent my daily shopping extravaganza and decided to 'live from my pantry'.  I knew we had a crap load of canned goods in there.  Many a time I've actually had to toss them, or donate them to the food pantry before they expired.

Side note:  State of Kansas, get over yourselves, do you realize what it would do to your tax revenue if you allowed one-stop shopping for groceries, beer, wine?  Well, baby, I DO.  If it comes down to making one trip for food and wine,  or two trips to get food, then wine....well, sorry, most days, wine might win.
I'm not an alcoholic, I just play one on this blog.

Anyway, Special K, focus.

If you find yourselves in a situation where you would be living off of canned goods....it ain't so bad.  I suggest two things:
1)  SPICES SPICES SPICES
2)  Variety in the canned food department.

So, this week's menu, completely pantry influenced.  And by pantry, the wine cooler may have been involved.

• New Age Marinara
• Petite Diced Tomatoes
• Tomato Paste
• Sliced Black Olives
• Minced Garlic (first in pantry now in fridge)
• Worchestshire Sauce
• Red Wine
• Basil
• Oregano
• Smoked Paprika
• Italian Seasonings (I have the grinder version, both at home and on boat, OMG, yes, do it)
• Throw ingredients in pot and let simmer until flavors blend
• Serve over pasta
• Salmon Burgers 
• Caveat: I forgot how ...  ewwww ... canned salmon is and I almost belayed this mission, but I persevered
• canned salmon (there will be bones, they cook down, however, mine went to the dogs...literally)
• egg beaters (yes, fridge involved, shut up)
• bread crumbs  (side note:  if you have a micro and inverter, micro a couple pieces of bread until they are self toasting, then crumble in hands= bread crumbs)
• parsley (the new freeze dried stuff is. the. bomb.)
• dried mustard
• mayo (on my boat, RV, house mayo is a staple of my world)
• lemon juice (most boaters tend to have lemons/limes on board I've noticed)
• pepper
• onion (fresh diced or recon thrown into mix, if using recon--let it set in mixture to moisten up)
• more spices of your choice
• mix all and then grill or pan fry until cook through -- realize that you are just cooking the egg.  Mixture will be pretty moist

So, I made a couple of good meals, with 2 days of leftovers, and realized that canned goods do not have to be what I grew up with, just like Brussel Sprouts, Beets, Lima beans are not what I had to grow up with.