A Midwesterners Guide to Bostonese

They put these road signs up recently. Hilarious.

Just got back from spending 10 days visiting family in Boston and the surrounding area.

It cracks me up that Bostonians always seem confused on why the rest of the nation picks on them for their accent.  True, they are not the only ones with an accent, but I think it's the entire invented dialect that goes with it.

So, here's your guide to translation if you ever go up there.  This should get you started.

Pronunciation
Anything that ends with -er will be pronounced -ah.  As in above: blinker = blinkah, lobster = lobstah, and so on.

Most anything containing an 'r', also replaced with an -ah sound.  Except at the beginning of a word.

If it it ends with an -a,  then you add an -er.  Seriously.  My friend growing up always wanted to know why my mom called her Amander.

Vocabulary
Wicked Awesome.  Yes, it's real and not something you just hear on SNL.  Reserved for the highest echelon of cool.

Dunkies.  Boston is the mother ship of Dunkin Donuts, started in Quincy, MA.  Locals affectionally call it Dunkies.  There is literally on every corner.  More prolific than Starbucks (of which you hardly see any)  I tried to get a picture of my mom pointing at the Dunkies we were at and the one across the street.  Didn't work out.  But both were busy.  Go figure.

Yah sah/nah sah.  Used in various configurations.  Often times when we would use the phrase, you know?  or right?

Soda/Tonic/Cola.  The word pop is not used.  You might wind up with a frozen treat out of the freezer.
All of above are used if asking for a Coca Cola or similar beverage. Two small restaurants we went to made soda by using the bar gun to put carbonated water into a glass and then adding the flavoring.  Think Sodastream.  (or if you are on Honey Ryder…Jesus Juice)

Frappe.  Not used as much anymore, but that would be a milkshake.

Getting directions
Don't even try.  Use your GPS or get one.  Holy cow.  You don't make a turn, you veer right or left.
Street signs and lines on the streets are optional.  If you take a regular path, start paying attention to landmarks such as businesses, that is your only hope.

Food
Eat the chowdah!
I used to think there was something seriously wrong with my mom because she always ordered fried seafood.  Nope, that's how it's done where she's from.
Fried clams--these are clams that have the bellies on them.  I'm not a fan.
Clam strips--these are just the 'necks' of the clams.  A bit more tolerable, and used in chowdah.
Find a deli or 'steak' shop and get yourself a good east coast sandwich or cheesesteak.  Yum.  Order a cheese steak monster style and you get pepperoni/onions/green peppers/mushrooms chopped up with the meat.