Compy Comp's Nemesis

aka ...  COLOR

My spouse is color blind, from what we can tell from the tests...ALL of it.

So, here are some tests for red/green color blindness. If you don't pass, the rest is a little important for mariners.

Answers below:

1.

 2.

 3.

ANSWERS:

1. 8
2. If you are not color blind, you will see a yellow square and a faint brown circle.  If you are red/green color blind you will only see the square. If you are my spouse, you will go, huh?
3. 6

Now what does this mean?  Check this out.  Looks pretty innocuous close up, but far away?  No way in hell for a color blind person.  And if you are forty--cough cough--ish, seeing the shapes ain't too whoopee either.

This is the entrance to our marina looking out from the marina.
From the channel its a hard turn to port with two other channel
markers there to make it exciting.

Just remember, some of the challenges aren't necessary coming from the weather or the ocean....

What to give thanks for...

Sunsets Key West

My darling, exasperating, funny husband

Key West Pinks...yummmmmm

Dolphins on our bow

Southwest flying into Key West now!!!!

Happy Thanksgiving Everyone.

If it ain’t fixed….it broke

To sum up this trip.  It broke.  What did? It ALL did.  Ice machine, makes a lovely bunch of ice and then suddenly starts this endless loop of “I scoop the ice into the basket…I scoop the ice into the basket…I scoop the ice into the basket”, even tho’ there ain’t any ice to scoop.  So, ye olde circuit board is shot in that. Tim later read that it tends to happen, so back to the drawing board on that.

Next, why aren’t the batteries charging.  Because the boat electrician forgot to check the water levels in them.  To which he’s kicking himself for.  So off for a new set of batteries.  So the boy who put forth 5 tons of AGM batteries on the boat is now back to being the mere mortal.  However first set of batteries lost was more of a new battery charger failure than any lack of effort on our part.

Next.  Let’s finally get the head sail up.  Oh, let’s make sure the wind kicks back up while we do it. Oh, and let’s make sure we forget 15 steps so that the sail goes down, and then up, and then down and then up.  Take boat out, furler is toast.  Not. Our. Fault.  It got damaged 5 years ago when the boat was shipped to the Midwest.  The lake folks never quite got Humpty Dumpty put back together again.  So, to make a long story short, it’s always been a bit of a bitch to operate.  Until this last week when it upped it’s orneriness from bitchy to full out not going to work.  Tim wound up having to go up front and hand roll the sail.  Luckily, wind died and we had a flat sea.

So, back at shore, I pull out our boat computer, that had been working (except for communicating with the actual battery—but working plugged in) to find out that it no longer wants to boot up. The last thing I remember from having it on was that there was a gazillion Microsoft updates, this will be the second computer that shot crapped after a Microsoft update.  Thanks Microsoft.   Can’t think of what else it could be, the computer is in a protective case in the chart table so I don’t think corrosion is a factor.

So, next on this list.  Making dinner that night, pull open the door to the dish cabinet. SNAP. There goes the catch, now cabinet won’t close.

Not broke, but if you don’t have it, it mean, no work. That was propane.  All propane on boat simultaneously went out.  Now, that’s not as easy to do as it sounds. Don’t try it at home.  Luckily, in the land of the propane tanks, it’s easy to get refills.  In the midst of rushing around refilling propane the world famous Macadamia Nut Hawaiianbread stuffing got a tad overcooked/dried out, but since not much was left, not a total failure.  Tim rocked on the game hens again.

Finally, big whammy jammy.  The Torqeedo is kaput.  In some perverse German engineering reason, you have to hook up/disconnect the connections from the battery to the throttle in precise order….or you fry the circuit board.  Tim failed to remember that fact and, no work no more.  So, we have to send that off for repair.

So, out of all that. Only two things will need professional help (not including mental help), the furler and the Torqeedo.  The ice machine will probably be donated to somebody who wants to take the time to see if they can replace the board (if that’s actually the problem).

And on the 8th day, the engine overheats...

After calibrating MechaRay, we start merrily motor sailing down to Key West.  And then I realize loopy loops, even though I was behind the wheel, have made me vomitosis.

Crap.

I start grazing and taking a breather when my spouse starts yelling SONOFABITCH.

Yes dear?

The #@)($#_* engine is overheating.

Hey, we've played this game before, so everybody to their places, Kim helm, sail up, Tim troubleshoot.

Strainer...clear.

Impeller.....toolboxes go flying, spare parts (and why the HELL are the engine parts at the bottom of the lazaretto under a dinghy and 10 tons of shit?) disassembly, impeller fine.

Shit.

Intake is ...... majorly clogged.

So, did the boatyard leave our anti rodent/insect batting in the intake when they splashed her. Sailboat is sailing fine with me on watch, so Tim makes calls.  Nope. They SWEAR they cleared all the thruhulls.

Hey, Cap. I'm going to hazard a guess it will involve sea grass and us going loopy loop for an hour.

Agreement.

Now what?

Must clear thru hull.  Options:

1. Good old fashioned snake the drain attempt.
2. Use portable shop vac on blow mode.
3. Anchor boat and dive under.
4. Call Towboat U.S.

Tim quickly exhausted Options 1 and 2, and 2a in which he tried with his own lung capacity to blow out the obstruction.  FAIL. 3 was being dismissed because I already said if you make me get in that water, I'm swimming to the nearest Tiki bar.  

We still had 20 miles left in our trip, so it was time to start doing some serious trouble shooting.  The big thing was, we knew what the problem was.  The second big thing was, we were under sail power with a nice brisk northwest wind blowing us on a broad reach and keeping the boat fairly level and still going around 5 kts. (wishing we head the head sail on for a while, but it was fine we didn't).

So, Tim does some research, my adrenaline ebbs away and seasickness returns. Trying to get food in me, but not enough.  I didn't lay in my normal nausea drinks (ginger ale) and food (club or cuban crackers).

So, the moment of epiphany occurs and it plays out like this.

1. Tim: I know what to do!  Kim: Great!
2. Tim starts getting tools ready.
3. Tim needs in lazarette. Kim is heaved over the rail preventing access to lazarette. Tim makes no-no by getting impatient with seasick wife.
4. Tim gets stink eye.  Then gets what he needs from locker.
5. Kim feels better for the heave-ho, asks for water and her trail mix.
6. Tim explains plan.
7. Kim wants to freak out, but remembers the famous anchor the boat with a Torqeedo incident of 2011. Says, okay, it makes sense. The engine is not running. 
8. Tim begins preparations like a mad scientist.
9. Kim says Hey, I see dolphins.  No really. I SEE DOLPHINS. (this has been the code word for me heaving).
10. Tim takes break and we hang out with 8 dolphins and their baby.  No pics, wasn't really a picture taking time.  However, I think Mother Nature sent us a gift for calming our shit down. Baby was cute, like a ornery puppy that was pissing off mom.
11. Back to work.
12. By now, you are wondering. WHAT IS THE PLAN?
13. The plan is to take the intake from the a/c and connect it to the intake for the engine. Switch, switch, crimp crimp and bob's your uncle.
14. Kim starts preparing for immediate sailing into shallows in the event a sudden geyser appears from down below.
15. Tim gives head up on each stage of process which is a good thing.  Kim keeps monitoring potential scuttle points if things go to shit.  In the irony of ironies, we were in the deepest part of Hawk's Channel at that point.
16. Apparently hoses for intakes are not same size. WTF? However, Tim has plan for this. I'm not sure what it was, but Mad Scientist MacGyver was in the don't ask/don't tell part of the operation.
17. Transplant complete. Tim says start the engine.  With one last look at the chart plotter for closest scuttle area. Kim turns on engine.
18. It sputters. IT RUNS.  With a few coughs to clear out the air in her system she starts humming like a baby.
19. No geysers.
20. Super smug husband.

All kidding aside what we did right.

• We allowed ourselves a good 10 minutes of rapid access scenario/freak out.  We got it out of our system.  Got calmed down to do serious analysis of the problem.
• Took time to smell the roses when we knew we were not in immediate danger.  In this case, it was hang out and talk to dolphins.
• Had a thorough understanding of our boat systems, I am not the gear head, but Tim can walk me through 90% of engine problems.  This helps prevent me going "are you sure husband?" and second guessing his every move.
• Communication of each step of the plan, and assurances that the helmsmen was confidently in control of the boat.
• Amazingly, keeping calm during the entire process. Having back up plans in place.

What we did not do so well on:

• Engine parts should not be six feet deep in a locker and under a dinghy. Bad form.
• Tim says, checking the intake for water flow first before worrying about impeller.  He says if he did that first, he could have knocked out several steps.
• The person on watch and helmsmen not having their life vest on.  Alone in the cockpit, even calm conditions, if the other person is incapacitated (i.e. fixing engine), you need to make sure you have double protective measures up top.  In focusing on the engine, we were complete amateurs about the safety, bad, bad, bad.

We got down to Key West Harbor Marina and after having to wait for some jackoff to get his SECOND boat out of our slip, we got in okay.  At which point, we realized that I didn't have enough to eat because of nausea and was a bit hypoglycemic and loopier than HemiD was earlier that day.

Tim finished off his moment of brilliance by taking a hose, cutting off the end, and using it and the city water pressure to blow out the engine intake.  I was manning the faucet on land and saw when the water bubbles came shooting out, to which I proclaimed Happy Day, Boat Farts.  

And welcome back to the marina, Kim!

In the end, it was good.  Big positive learning experience.  

Finally shoving off for Key West...and oh, crap

Tuesday, we finally deemed the conditions calmed down enough to move the boat. The winds were still enough of a pain that we didn't get the headsail up (something we wished for later).

We had spent the last few days detailing the boat and watching Sandy terrorize the Northeast. Friends/family reported in okay, although two of Tim's employees that were working onsite in NYC had to evacuate their location to a safer area.

We head out and Tim immediately want to start calibrating the new brain for the autopilot that he installed in August...Hurricane Isaac.

This is supposed to be a smarter brain, so in the naming convention of our boat parts, this Ray is now Mecha-ray (and if any of you watched Godzilla as a kid, you'll get the reference).

In his enthusiasm he immediately wants to do it after we leave the channel to Boot Key Harbor.

Bad idea.  He's not listening. I re-iterate, not good.

So, we have current from the channels of both Boot Key Harbor and 7 mi Bridge.  Lobster ball heaven, and oh, it's time for the guys to check their traps!

Tim: Oh, it won't take that long, lets get it set.

Kim: Okay, I'm driving, I got major sea sick last time we tuned an autopilot.

So, hit calibrate in which I am now supposed to drive in large, steady circles without going too fast or too slow until it latches onto a setting match.

And I drive.....drive more circles....dodge lobster balls.....dodge trap boat.....fight wind as I pass through in the the circle.....fight current...

and rinse and repeat.

Then Tim states...I better read the manual again.  (grrrrrrr)

Now it becomes this very intense game of skill, because if I cause the autopilot to say too slow/too fast, we have to start all over again.

This goes on for about 20 minutes, and I'm sure the trap boat is starting to get pissed at the sailboat going loopy loop around them, I'm chanting:  Thou shall give right of way to a commercial vessel while said commercial vessel is in use.

I hit cancel, screw this I'm taking us out further into the channel.  With a stern sit, stay, shut up to my spouse, I take control of the helm and get us further out into better water.

In a bit we try the calibration again...NAILED IT!  Too which my spouse had to deal with my smug I told you so!

But the fun is about to begin, because something happened while we were playing loopy loop in the churned up water......

Fantasy Fest....me no want

In the 15 years we have been coming to Key West by land, sea or air.  We've always managed to miss Fantasy Fest.

Not this year.

Since we were somewhat of a captive audience, we made the drive down Friday night to see what the hullabaloo was about.

OMG.  My eyes are still burning.

Even though I did take some pics of the body art, I'm not going to post them here.  I'm sure there's enough kindergarten teachers from Wisconsin already asking..what do you mean I'm fired? I just spent the week in fantasy fest.

However, here are some of the more PG-13 amusing pics.

The elderly Hooter girls.

This group was having a ball, they were funnier later when they were drunk and the
batteries in the costume fans wore out.

Points for trying?

I am trying to imagine Fred Phelps coming down here to start up his nonsense. However, I would pay GOOD money to see the drag queens flood out of Aqua and The 801 to beat the crap out of him and his minions.

There were supposed to be 70,000 the next night to see the parade.  We opted out. Maybe some other time.

Of boats and hurricanes

We arrived in Fort Lauderdale in a Tropical Storm Warning.  It didn't matter, we were on Southwest and they will fly in anything.  However it was truly a 'oh lord save me now' landing as the plane got swatted by 30-40 mph winds.  But land we did and after visiting Hake Yachts we headed down to Marathon.

The following pic is taken while driving down "The Stretch" on US 1.  The water is literally being blown out of Barnes Sound onto the road. A fascinating sight if you were going South, probably a bit of bear if you were heading North.

We arrived in Marathon just as another outer band from Sandy come rolling through. And we see our beloved baby smashed up against the finger of the dock, with no fenders. To which Tim and I started rapidly saying some very unpleasant things about whoever tied off our boat after they splashed it and I think their family members also.

BTW--retying your boat in a squall as it is blowing 40 knots, its a good way to recharge after a long drive down the keys. It was essentially the Lamazz method of boat tie off. Okay, breathe, breathe, PUSH! each time there was a lull in the wind.  Hey we got 'er done though.

We are in that mess in the southwest quad of the storm.

By then, the iced down wine was ready to drink as we finally got to get on the boat.  (I would have done a shot of warm Sailor Jerry's at that point).  

That night, both Tim and I wind up getting slightly seasick from the constant bouncing of the boat and vibration of wind against the mast.  I relocated to the salon which was a bit more stable and between that and dramamine got some sleep, until I rolled over onto the floor.  Whoops. 

To quote Eddie Izzard, Sandy was a big fuck off storm.  That was before she became the frankenstorm SuperSandy also.  Due to another system off to the northwest, we got pummeled with winds from her for three days.  Folks tried to head out to get down to Key West for Fantasy Fest and headed back in.  (We went down, via car, though)

Another fun thing was seeing the swim platform of your boat actually ABOVE the cement dock at high tide.  HIIIIGGGGHHHHH tide.

With all that going on. We made plans to extend our trip until the wind and seas calmed down.  Hemi D got some much needed TLC in waxing, stainless work, wood work, gew gaw fixing.